What Men Want: Wedding Dress Edition!

So the more accurate title would actually be ‘What Dan wants – Wedding dress edition’! I am right in the middle of wedding dress shopping and have gone from knowing exactly what I want in a wedding dress (or at least thinking I did) to having no idea! And trying on a whole bunch of really beautiful dresses doesn’t help to clarify the situation. At the start of the process, I really didn’t think I would ever consult Dan – partly because I wanted it to be a surprise, and partly because he doesn’t ‘get’ wedding dresses (his own admission)!

That said, as I tried on more and became more confused, I started to need the extra feedback and different perspective so I asked Dan to pick out some dresses from Instagram in an attempt to gauge what exactly he would like to see. I didn’t think I’d share the results on a blog post but the results were too funny not to.

I think the overriding theme was that there is no theme! He picked plain dresses and intricate dresses, form-fitting dresses and ballgowns, satin and tulle, high neck and strapless. Slightly varied to say the least!!

I tried to ask Dan to explain his choices but he really couldn’t – he just ‘liked’ them! (Boys are so cute :))

Dan’s absolute favourite was the high neck, satin dress (above, left) – he says he definitely prefers simple dresses without a lot of fuss or detail. That said, a lot of the other dresses he picked are pretty heavy on fuss and detail so let’s take what he says with a pinch of salt 🙂

I have also started showing Dan photos of dresses that were near misses, i.e. dresses I almost went for. Pretty much without exception, he has hated my choices! Which has been both comforting (that I made the right decision in not purchasing the dress) but also slightly worrying that we seem to differ so much in opinion! I can’t say any of the above dresses that he picked would be exactly my cup of tea although a couple of them are similar shapes to what I’ve been looking at, which is slightly comforting!

For any of you that are already married or engaged, did you consult your future husbands on the dress decision?

Thank you so much for stopping!

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12 Comments

  1. Helen
    June 18, 2017 / 1:23 pm

    Yep got married a couple of years ago and struggled with dresses. I’d get him to go through magazines so he could tell me what he liked and didn’t like. He even saw the dress before our wedding day as I wanted his thoughts. I found the whole thing stressful and while I love the dress I wore I never found ‘the one’ dress that some people talk about. I think you should get one you love me and are happy wearing as they don’t really mind what you wear and will think you are beautiful regardless. It’s important that you feel good in it as the photos will last a lifetime.

    • Yvonne
      September 8, 2017 / 8:45 am

      I feel just like you said, Helen! I loved my dress but it never evoked too much emotions in me – not to the point where I burst into tears once I saw my own reflection in the mirror!

  2. Sonia
    June 18, 2017 / 1:49 pm

    Loved this post! I got married 5 years ago. I did show my partner some dresses as I flicked through magazines, but it didn’t really alter what I ended up choosing. Having gone through the process I know that on the day, seeing you walk towards him in whatever dress you pick will be one of the best days of your lives together. Try not to stress, and pick what you like

  3. Sonia
    June 18, 2017 / 5:15 pm

    I think that the common theme throughout the Dan’s picks is : heart neckline, corset, fitted waist, flared skirt. He’s actually very consistent in what he likes! Very predictably it is the very feminine silhouette emphasizing bust and waist. The high-neck satin dress may be his favorite, but perhaps the way it is photographed plays a role and you wouldn’t be able to stand like that for an entire day.. 🙂

  4. Mareike
    June 18, 2017 / 7:16 pm

    I love thos post!! It is really different!;)
    I got married a year ago and i tortured my husband with every single episode of “Say yes to the dress” and asked for his opinion on every single dress… Thats how I got some hints…

  5. Laura
    June 18, 2017 / 8:50 pm

    When I was dress shopping and asked my now-husband’s opinion about what he would like to see me in, his only request was “I want you to look like yourself.” It sounds pretty easy, but it was a good reminder to me to look for dresses that are keeping with my regular style: classic, clean lines, feminine. Although I loved looking at the bohemian/trendy/glitsy dresses, I knew they weren’t “me.”

  6. Emery
    June 19, 2017 / 12:47 pm

    I might have gotten a little feedback in the very beginning but ultimately his opinion didn’t weigh much into the dress I chose (also because he was unable to verbalize what he actually liked).
    I think its important that you choose a dress that you really love because you’ll be glowing in confident in it. When you walk down the aisle, he’s looking at you as package and not the dress itself. A confident you, glowing with happiness is what he’ll remember and that’s the beauty the pictures will capture.
    Also, assuming he doesn’t typically have objections about your style now, its really unlikely that he’ll dislike the style you choose for your wedding.

  7. Roxanna
    June 19, 2017 / 5:09 pm

    Try looking back at conversations you two have had regarding your regular going-out outifits. Men are very visual creatures and it’s not really the dress they are looking at but how the dress complements your body and your body part they like the most. Ie. If he likes that your waist or your neck or you shoulders are more accentuated by an outfit etc. good luck with the dress hunt! And agree, don’t stress too much on the dress or finding the concept of the “one” dress that is meant for you. Focus on how you feel and how comfortable you are in the dress. Best to feel perfect on your wedding day than to look perfect.

  8. June 19, 2017 / 6:53 pm

    I loved this blog post! The high neck one is definitely really classy but I think I would personally go for something more princessy because it’s your wedding day! He will like whatever you end up wearing : )

    https://lovekimber.com/

  9. June 19, 2017 / 8:18 pm

    Hi Amie,

    I loved this! It’s important to make sure he’s happy- but he’ll be happy if you love it no matter what! Yes, when I first went to look at dresses and try on different shapes my husband went with me. He definitely preferred a simple and classic gown, as did I. His main thing was comfort- if ti was too heavy or not comfortable he said it was not worth it. I wound up altering my grandmother’s dress which my mother wore as well- so he had seen pictures of them in it but I changed it to be exactly what I wanted and he did not see any of the alteration process. He did love it when he saw it and knew that the meaning behind it made it even more special. When you find the dress, you’ll know! And I bet Dan will love it!

  10. Lenny
    June 20, 2017 / 12:29 pm

    Hi Amie,

    I find this so amusing especially since I went through the same thing 1 month and a half ago. I am getting married in September so I can totally relate to all of your stories. I am almost done with planning, I still have to decide on a few things though like decoration details, candy bar, song + dance, shoes etc :))) Talking about shoes, I fell in love with the “wedding” heels Imagine by Vince Camuto, but once I actually tried them on they didn’t quite wow me like expected – plus they were pretty uncomfortable. So now I am on the hunt again..
    Anyways back to the wedding dress 🙂 so I always imagined myself in a mermaid gown, but when I tried some on I was so confused. I still liked the way it looked, very flattering but at the same time it didn’t feel “bridal” to me, if that makes sense. So I started trying on different styles and I realized that if it is not going to be mermaid it will probably be A-line , but a puffed up A-line so to speak. Something between a regular A-line and a princess. (kind of like the last picture you posted). Being still confused, I decided to ask my future husband about what he likes and showed him some pictures exactly like you did. And guess what he had the same different choices like Dan, according to him they were all “cute”. I also showed him some of the mermaid dresses I tried on and he didn’t really like them. So I def realized that he would rather see me in a “princessy” gown than in a mermaid one. In the end he did help me a little bit 🙂 So after our conversation, I started looking at puffed up A-lines and visited my top 4 bridal stores that weekend and I finally found the one!
    Now keep in mind that the pictures you showed Dan are taken by a professional and obviously he knows what angles to work, so showing him pictures of different dresses is a little tricky, as I learned myself with my fiancée. If the model looks good in the dress, they will like the dress, but they do not imagine you in that dress, at least my future husband is not that creative 🙂 Also wedding dresses can look great in pictures but not necessary on oneself.
    So my advice for you would be to decide on the style of the dress first and foremost and then go from there..
    Hope this helps!
    L.

  11. sasha
    May 14, 2018 / 9:45 pm

    Hi Amie,

    There might be a pattern to Dan’s dresses selection. They are all on the sexy tailoring side, while you tend to like a more relaxed fit.

    Best,
    sasha

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